Saturday, September 30, 2006

How am i supposed to live...


"Without You"
(feat. Clay Aiken)

Never even thought to cry
When I heard you say goodbye
Never said where you were going

There's no laughter in the air
Only silence everywhere
And so much left unspoken

Since you've been gone
I haven't been the same
I wish that i could see
Who's to blame

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
And No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am i supposed to live my life?
Without you

Was I lost in you and me
To the point i couldn't see
That what we had was dying

Now it's all that I can do
To see photographs of you
And stop myself from crying

I should learn to live without your love
Got so many memories
But it's not enough

Without you, where do i belong?
Without you, how can i go on?
And No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you?

I feel helpless and, oh, so all alone
Like I've never felt before
You made me feel alive
But I don't remember what it's like anymore

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
And No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you?

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you?

Oh baby where do I belong?
Please tell how can I go on?
Without you...




Yes i do sometimes. but I will survive. Because I know I have to live without you.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Poet On Swati... LOL!!!

Life is being very busy since last few days. Not getting time for writing something here. But everyday hoping to manage some time and write something at last.
Well now the time has come. Since last few days I am having a poetry contest with V. Oh lol... No it's not a serious contest. It's just we are scrapping each other on ORKUT and we are doing it through poem. He is good at shayari really. Actually I thought yesterday only that i should paste his last piece of poetry here coz it was good at content.

Here it is:

kabhi kabhi yeh behta paani ,
kabhi kabhi yeh hawa suhaani ,
kabhi kabhi yaadein anjaani .
kaano me kuch keh jaati hai ..
aur aankho mai reh jaati hai ..
bus unse milne ki chaahat..

kabhi kabhi jo dekhe sapne ,
kabhi kabhi jo roothe apne ,
kabhi kabhi dil laga tadapne,
to khud ko mai samjhaata hoon ,
soch ke jo pal saath gujaare ,
kuch pal hashkar so jata hoon ,

kabhi kabhi kuch gam hota hai ,
kabhi kabhi mausam hota hai ,
kabhi kabhi dil bhi rota hai,
kabhi kabhi yoon kyon hota hai,

kabhi kabhi jo tum aa jati
kabhi kabhi kuch baat banati ,
kabhi kabhi khusiyan mil jaati
aur kahoon tumse kya swati..

Well said. He is right saying we should remember the good part of life no need to be sad that we don't have someone anymore.
Always remember what you have don't think about what you don't have. Life is all about making choices. The path you choose that decides your life and destiny.

And my reply was :

hum to aajate hain har roj
naye naye baaten batane
jis din kabita na likh paye
to bana lete hain koi bahane

office me jo kaam pada hain
usme dam sara nikla hain
hosh me hu yehi bahat hain
baki sab kuchh bhul gaye hain

jis sapna ki tum karte ho baat
milne ati wo mujhko har raat
kuch der tak deta hain wo sath
par akhir me rah jata khali ye hath

phir bhi ye jiban sapna hain
sapna hain bas sapna hain
sapne me sab apna hain
sapne me sab sachcha hain

na koi shak na koi gham
sapne me hi kho jayenge hum
hone na denge yeh ankhen nam
khush rahne ki mujhme hain dam

Will you believe it took me 2 hours to write that reply :D . Actually I was so tired to think even. Got back home at 10:45pm. But still I am enjoying my work at office. So satisfying. Thanks to S.
Well I never thought I will ever only log in on net just to reply someone's scrap and no chating. I have really stopped chating. OH MY GOSH!!!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

One evening

Saturday 2nd sept, 2006:
Nope nothing happened so special. It was just i left office early and it was a nice evening outside. I was feeling so good and wanted to enjoy all the evening outside. I took auto from there and i was not being able to decide whether to take metro after that or to take bus. But i had an appoinment with doctor so i needed to reach on time.
But with all my heart i wanted to stay outside with the lovely evening.

It was a bit crazy wind blowing and messing my rough hair... touching my skin softly and telling me to play with it and enjoy the moments... the more the auto having speed the more it was playing with my hair and my face... i was unable to handle it yet i was loving it so much... dry leaves were running and flying with the wind... i wished i was one of them.... nothing to worry about life and still enjoying the journey... so phylosophical lol...

i looked at the sky up there and found it so beautiful... clouds were gathering making the sky dark though... they said it will rain soon... i loved it more... after a hot day everyone will love it... i loved myself a bit more for being a part of this beautiful world... i loved everything around me... and i remembered someone telling me how much he loves rain... my heart ached a bit... but still i was so happy... i learned another lesson to be happy alone...

But every good thing has an end. Auto reached metro station...I was still in dilemma about taking metro or bus. But as i had to deal with time i took metro. Before entering the door to the underground i looked at the sky again and said "goodbye dear i have to go". I had some hope left that before the wonderful evening disappears i will again be back to the outside world after finishing my metro ride. The underground was so dull and hot. I hated metro rail for the first time.

When i reached DumDum station it started raining and it was dark.


Mindhunters Starring:
LL Cool J, Val Kilmer, Christian Slater, Eion Bailey, Will Kemp, Jonny Lee Miller, Clifton Collins, Kathryn Morris, Patricia Velazquez

Mindhunters Director:
Renny Harlin

Mindhunters Written By:
Wayne Kramer, Kevin Brodbin

Mindhunters Distributed by:

Mindhunters Synopsis:
On a remote island, the FBI has a training program for their psychological profiling division, called "Mindhunters", used to track down serial killers. The training goes horribly wrong, however, when a group of seven young agents discover that one of them is a serial killer, and is setting about slaying the others.

It was a very clever script i must say. All the while you really can't guess who the killer can be exactly. The actions and stunts were really good in it. I liked specially when the killer and the girl both were inside the water tank under the water fighting each other and then at the crucial moment they were staring at each other(donno how is it possible in drak night under the water) and holding the hands with the gun pointing at each other outside the water waiting for the one to lose his/her breathe and go up to have some air. The killer loses there.
A must see movie for who loves thriller.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Transition period

It hurt to face the truth

If you only knew how I feel
If you only knew what I think
Every time I look at you
My heart just seems to shrink
You took your love away
Like it didnt hurt to say
That you didn't love me anymore
And you wanted to get away
It's like my life was over
And it hurt to face the truth
Why was this happening
What did I do
To make you change your feelings
Which were once so very deep
And looking back at the memories
I can't help but weep.

It hurts me to say what I'm about to say

I've been there for you through the good times and the bad,
And was there to wipe your tears away, whenever you were sad.
Always tried to make you happy, whenever you were mad,
And gave you everything you thought you'd never have.
All those magical nights that we kissed,
Those are the days I will always miss.
I loved every single one of those days,
And that's why it hurts me to say what I'm about to say.
I loved you unconditionally,
No matter what happened between you and me.
And I was blind, but now I see,
That you just wanted to be friends with me.
But I can't just be your friend.
Because my broken heart will never mend.
You didn't want to lose me,
but you lost me in the end.
Because I Love You too much,
to just be your friend.

When we try so hard to move on in our life we need to deal with pain, anger, hurt... slowly we find new happiness and pretend to forget the pain... but during this period the wound often starts moaning inside us... and how badly it bleeds till it gets cured...

"its bleeding... uhhh... so badly"
"hide it! hide it! no one should see it"
"why cant i even cry? cant i even show?"
"what’s the use of crying or showing?"
"cry as much u can... it helps"

"dont be an emotional fool u idiot"
"is there any place where i can hide myself?"
"why me? why only me every time?"
"no one understands me... no one can"
"how can he/she do this to me?"
"damn it!!! i still love him/her"

people often say all these to himself/herself...
but what if someone says like this...
"i miss u and i will... but m walking away... i was bleeding so badly... my blood will show u the path for sometime if u want to follow me but make it soon if u want it really else blood will disappear soon to tell u where i m gone coz it started getting clotted already... and i will be gone... forever!!!"

Friday, September 01, 2006

First kick!!!

Quite tough job to keep a blog i guess... but still this is my third try... i lost other 2 user id with password b4... how? thats a different story...
thinking... what could be nice enough to write on my first blog?
about me? no no... whats there to write about me?
then about the world? ummmm... world is big enough to write about... but sometime i wonder why the world is so big? or even why not more big so that we still had left places to discover... its not fair that no one left for me to discover some places... sigh!!!
hmmm... lets try to talk about something else...
LIFE!? oh dear! dnt even start now... thats like counting water in ocean...
its a very popular line "describe life in single word" ... but why yaar? Life is itself a single word then which other single word can describe it more appropriate?
how about soccer? hey nt a bad idea at all... we just had worldcup 2006... world cup is always like a fastival for which we wait for 4 long yrs... i love this game so much... even more than chess... yup being a chess player even... but this yr it was really sad for me at the end :(
still cant get over the sad feelings for Argentina... i love this soccer-team passionately and so MARADONA my childhood hero... he still fascinates me... but there is no enough time to write about him or soccer...
well well... then what to write?
"Swati its 1:58am now... time to go to sleep... ur office needs u in few hours"
oh yeah i forgot that part... i should just say goodnight now... may i try tomorrow to write 'something'... till then bye