Friday, September 17, 2010

It's time

Life is delusional, a mesmerizing trap. We often lose track of time and we lose ourselves too. And then the time comes to collect the pieces and move on.

Now it's time again. Time to move on. Now I'll have to search for my soul. The disturbing part about this time is that while I was too busy fooling around with life, pleasing others, trying to impress others, I lost my soul too.

Once I find my soul back it's time to start a new life. A new life with good old me. All of my life I have been busy thinking and caring about others. It always has been others success, others happiness, others life, what the other one is thinking about me, where I stand in others life and little I thought about myself.

But enough now.

From now on it's my life. I would live it on my own. I am not going to give up my life for someone else. Let them think what they want to think. I don't need to change myself for someone who has little respect for me being me. I realized I can't change their opinion about me even if I die right in front of them saying how much they mean to me and how much I sacrificed for them.

They could see only if they had spared some time from their busy schedule of criticizing me, judging me and dissecting my every action. I can't change them and their habits.

I accept myself as the way I am. That's first step to be contented. I changed myself for nothing. Now I will go back to myself again.

I love myself. I love others too. But without "I" the love has no value.

4 comments:

AS said...

So much of hurt? It does ring out and speaks for itself. Its good to love oneself and it is a great learning. But how many in reality can do it?

master said...

life is not delusional..problem is love is delusional..that is the trap where u can loose urself. watching movies reading novels the society our friends everybody give us some ideas about love.Our curiosity to find love leads to delusion.
so its not soul but the love we have lost.Because even when we think we have found love after sometime we will realize that it is not what we expected.Or may be it is not love.

So first need to search for ourself (what you said soul)..need to find what we mean by living by love..what is this "I" that is different from "others".other search comes later.

i guess getting hurt is part of the lesson.either you can become like me and decide not to try to find.but then you will miss everything that u have experienced in life..hough what u have written is right bbut i guess its very hard to change ur habit..i cant sudddenly become some one else..

hope wht i have written make some sense
wish you can find whatever u want to find..

Swati Sengupta said...

for me Love=Life... and yes u r right, its not easy at all to change oneself... and every time its same old story all over again through our life...

its a never ending cycle of love-hate-love with people close to our heart... and meanwhile we experience wonderful or dreadful emotions which makes us human...

and u r making sense!

Swati Sengupta said...

@ AS, thanks for reading... :)