We have all at some point in our lives had relationships with people who are negative, needy, or maybe even pessimistic. Such characters are often very good at keeping attention and energy focused on themselves. Those of us who strive to keep a positive outlook on life are especially vulnerable to these kind of people because such relationships can leave us feeling drained and depleted.
I have experienced it many times with people even who are closest to me. I had tough time dealing with them. I felt miserable thinking about their situations and mine. I wished I could solve their problems, I wished I could help them. I felt helpless at times. But slowly I realised that in most of the cases it's not that they are having tough time in their life but it's because they love feeling miserable about things they can't or won't change. Then I stopped trying to heal or help them. It's not possible to help someone if someone doesn't want to help him/herself. I have seen people love to cry over some issues for years, sometime whole life but they are not willing to change it. My point is what's the use of crying over something which you can solve by just moving on. Sometime I find myself stuck in same pattern and I feel angry on myself thinking that I fall in the same group.May be people love to feel miserable over some issue and blame that issue for all the misery in their life and feel good. For me the best solution is when you are alone and feeling terrible, shed some tears and then move on. But telling others about the tragedy in your life for hours and sulk or behave rude with others and then give excuse that your mood is bad because you have so much problems in your life is totally bullshit. Cut the crap man! Everyone has their problems and that's the reason we are here alive, to solve the problems in our life and help others. So why to punish others about something they are not responsible for?
When I was in school I read one wonderful phrase somewhere. "jibontake knede bhashanor chaite heshe urano bhalo(Its better to blow your life with laughter than flooding with tears)". I try to follow it. Whenever I am with people I try to laugh. I hardly can count who has seen me crying. But I have seen many. More than I can count.
And an other point is there. If you have so many negative people around you and you interact with them regularly you tend to feel the same way. So stop giving attention to those people more than they deserve. I am not saying you just dump them and go but keep a balance if you feel that they are harming your own stability. And also take care of not becoming one of them and make your close ones life hell by being negative and needy one.
I have been listening to other's problems since I am a kid. The elders, I hate them for making me a victim about their mental pattern. Since then I find problem in everything, I sulk a lot about something negative around me, specially the things I can't change. But I didn't realise that I have also become one of them somehow. Though I don't sit and cry or make people listen to my problems but I complain a lot. How irritating it can be I know. I need to check my habit of complaining urgently. My brother told me about this bad habit of mine long back. Though he is 9 yrs younger than me but still he is much mature than me in many things. But I didn't care about what he was telling me at that time.
I have stopped being a "good listener" lately. If people think I have turned bad and selfish then let that be. I can't play it anymore. Someone (closest and The special one) made me realise that I need to first keep myself sane and emotionaly healthy then only I can help others. I am thankful to him for helping me and listening to my problems. He understood that most of my emotional problems are due to my miserable friends, relatives and their problems. And I took his advise positively and working on it. Now I feel much better.
I want to blow kisses, laughter and baloons now. Goodbye to floody, soggy emotions.
